It Takes a Village

My person with Parkinson’s requires assistance and care that grows each day.  When he was initially diagnosed in 2009, he handled the management of his own medications, continued to be self-motivated to exercise regularly, and continued participating with various social activities outside the home.  As time went on and his disease progressed, I thought I had to assume all the responsibility for his care.  This worked for a while; then, one day a kindly neighbor called to discuss another matter.  The conversation eventually turned toward “How is George?” and I probably said, “Oh, he’s fine.” He had observed us walking in the neighborhood and saw that I was doing more around the house.  Even though I wanted to present a strong, independent persona to friends and neighbors, I could feel our lives changing.

I will always remember what my neighbor said that day.  It was essentially that he had tried to do everything for his aging wife (who was a victim of Alzheimer’s); but he soon learned that he could not handle it alone any longer.  So, he started hiring an in-home caregiver.  His exact words that stuck with me were “it was the best money I ever spent!”

That was an important turning point.  I saw that it was not humanly possible to assume the roles of cook, bottle washer, housekeeper, nurse, social worker, chauffeur, secretary, et al.  By that time, the role of wife had been shadowed by all the obligatory activities.

We are fortunate that we have long-term care insurance.  This enabled us to hire a caregiver agency, and what a blessing that has been.  We now have a regular, mature, and male caregiver whom we love and appreciate for his strength, dependability, and willingness to handle things that I cannot or do not want to do.  More importantly, he has become a treasured companion for George.  Since our caregiver is a guy, he and George can talk about “guy things.”

For all people with Parkinson’s, and individuals who suffer from other debilitating illnesses, it is vital for the primary caregiver to seek and accept help where it is needed and/or offered.  Pride lied to me.  He said I had to do everything myself.  So glad I stopped listening to him!

It takes a village.  Caregivers, physicians, nurses, physical/occupational therapists, family members, children, friends and neighbors all have a position on the Fight Parkinson’s Team.