Magnificent Obsession

If you’ve been in the Parkinson’s caregiver game for long, you know that frequently your person with Parkinson’s can exhibit obsessive behaviors. The principal medication used to treat the illness, carbidopa-levodopa, taken in large quantities (as is necessary in the disease’s later stages) can exacerbate the problem.

Lately, George has become “obsessed” with the features of our cable TV remote. He will tell me he “just wants to learn how it works,” but in so doing, he can easily change device settings that are strange or make no sense to me. Also, he can inadvertently order movies or shows through Comcast On Demand. On a couple of occasions, I have been obliged to contact our friendly Comcast technician to remove the errant charges. This can be annoying to me, and bothers him a great deal, because he doesn’t really understand what he is doing with the remote. Unfortunately, sometimes my patience with this wears thin.

Upon reflection, I must add that George has always been a personality that “obsesses” with behaviors and/or things. He always liked to collect things, and finds it very difficult to discard anything that he has collected. When we moved four years ago, this was an issue for us, but he did finally decide to let go of some items. I have to wonder if he thinks something bad will happen if he throws anything away.

I was recently reminded of a story because of George’s behavior. In 1929, Lloyd C. Douglas wrote a novel called Magnificent Obsession. It is a somewhat “sudsy” story (like a soap opera) but has an underlying spiritual theme that is interesting to me. In my home growing up, we did not have many books so they were extremely valued and memorable. One that my mother had was Magnificent Obsession.

If you are unfamiliar with the story, the synopsis is that a wealthy, self-indulged and reckless playboy wrecks his speedboat and almost drowns. He is saved by the town’s one defibrillator. Unfortunately, the town’s beloved and benevolent doctor suffers a heart attack and dies because the electronic device was in use and so was not available to save his life. The doctor’s widow meets the playboy, and he strives to make amends by offering to pay the family’s debts. In case you would like to read the book or see the movie (two versions, one in 1935 and one in 1954), I won’t give away what happens after that. Suffice it to say that the playboy has a sincere change of heart, falls in love with the widow, and becomes obsessed with helping her.

So, obsessions can be a positive thing. I think that when we are striving to do good and wanting to help our partners, each day can be difficult and we can tire of always being available to be the helper. The perceived negative obsessions can be addressed by counseling and clear, open, and honest communication. I believe when we focus on the love we have and remember what brought us together in the first place, it can make each day bearable.

Love is a magnificent obsession!