The motto of the Boy Scouts is “Be Prepared.” As an avid scouter and troop leader, George was always prepared. He managed to have multiple tools to do the same job (just in case one of them failed) and always ensured that he had the necessary provisions and camping gear when he went camping or backpacking. In the spirit of St. Nicholas, he made lists and checked them twice. He did this in his work as a finance officer, and he did this with his family, which frequently drove the rest of us crazy. “Check the door locks!” “Do we have enough milk?” “Do we have enough toilet paper?” If I heard these questions once, I heard them a million times. He always had backup plans for his backup plans!
Lately, however, George has been resistant to doing the work necessary to ensure that all important legal documents, etc. are completed and properly executed. I could not understand this, as my parents had taught me to thoroughly plan for the future.
When we moved four years ago, I started talking to him about making a will. I said: “This doesn’t mean either one of us is going to die tomorrow, but don’t you want to have the peace of mind that our children and grandchildren get our inheritance and not the state?” Of course, he admitted that was right, but his anxiety and underlying fear of death prevent him from thinking about such things.
No one wants to think about his or her own death. It is an uncomfortable experience, and therefore is human nature. Finally, last year I was able to convince him to engage an attorney and execute the wills. They were simple and straightforward as we are not millionaires! However, it was like pulling eye teeth. When all was said and done, the documents were completed. I breathed a sigh of relief. However, there was one more thing that I felt was important to do, and that was to establish our final wishes for a funeral. Somehow, he could just not face this.
It is said that no one dies from Parkinson’s, rather individuals die “with” Parkinson’s. It can be many years before he succumbs, but the cost of the funeral will be much greater five, 10, or even 20 years from now. I come from a long-lived family, so I expect to live many years. Of course, anyone (with or without a debilitating or disabling illness) could die in an automobile accident or the like without any prior warning.
I wanted our children to not have to worry about any of the difficult and emotion-laden details of planning for our burial. So, thankfully, today (at least two years or more since we started talking about it) we were able to get the necessary paperwork and pre-pay the funeral. Now it will all be in order. Today, I breathed another sigh of relief.
I urge everyone to be prepared.
Perpetual Motion 